to mend a crooked mind, you must first bend it

If there is anything remotely stylistic about my writing; it's taken from years spent on the internet. I've only learned by looking directly at the personal interpretations that people have melded into through trends and references taken from other trends and reference, my own style being one of a person who cooly approaches things as if being knowingly filmed as an extra of a droll French movie (which is all of them). Pantomiming whoever drifts into my conscience, I can improvise Durga Chew-Bose, Eve Babitz, a myriad of mutations of what has come to be and what will soon become. 

The current state of fashion is constant death and rebirth of post-fashion fashion. Personal style has laid to rest atop of hill a kaleidoscope of groupies who will judge you solely based on what you consider tasteful.

A Lee Chang-dong Burning-esque need to write and capture moments and excessive aesthetically-inclined thoughts leaves me to what I have stuck to the most - writing publicly to myself. I say this unabashedly, as I remain tense due to a cocktail of SSRIs and cold brew and even on a morning after comedown, I know I will still agree, despite feelings of self-disgust of reading my own writing and thinking about how dramatic I'm coming off as.

Maybe one day I'll be able to categorize my thoughts properly. One of the few celebrity figures that I've ever liked, River Phoenix, once said: “I've learned that if you can’t get it all together to accomplish this thing called peace, you do at least your part in your life, because that’s where you can truly make an immediate difference.” My peace is in writing.

Additionally,

*the gardener who saw god

*sui generis

*a place called home

* Eve Babitz recalling Vera Stravinsky in her book Eve's Hollywood: and her brilliant innocence is something that is so charming and so sexy and so purely about life that you have to have been there, you have to have heard her laugh, you have to have seen her roomful of flowers and her purple satin capes made in Rome lined with iridescent taffeta to know that it is possible, that Anything is Possible and that a woman spun out into the finest silk makes the strongest rope. 

* "Not only is shopping melting into everything, but everything is melting into shopping. Through successive waves of expansion--each more extensive and pervasive than the previous--shopping has methodically encroached on a widening spectrum of territories so that it is now, arguable, the defining activity of public life. Why has it become such a basic aspect of our existence? Because it is synonymous with perhaps the most significant and fundamental development to give form to modern life: the unfettered growth and acceptance of the market economy as the dominant global standard. Shopping is the medium by which the market has solidified its grip on our spaces buildings, cities, activities, and lives. It is the material outcome of the degree to which the market economy has shaped our surroundings, and ultimately ourselves." --Sze Tsung Leong, "Harvard Design School Guide to Shopping"

*inevitable is an emotional succession of breakdowns in which i reflect on my own delusions. i like doing so to the tune of blossom dearie on repeat.

*i can't always digest the nightlife noise of west hollywood, but i thoroughly enjoy the gaudy exterior of Hamburger Mary's-- bingo night, horrifically large vegan burgers, spanking paddles, and a bathroom with a disco ball and ABBA's Dancing Queen on replay to match

*Summer In The West by LSDXOXO

*I joke about the future, and the future laughs back at me with snark. 

*I enjoy people as kind as they are warm. i am off-put by coolness.

*Majority of the prominent design houses lack the creativity and drive that is necessary to shape the real of fashion-- they are mainly white, old, and rely on branding to cultivate revenue. we need to focus on the presence of designers who stray from this mold and bring life to an industry that has lost its luster.

*Enjoyment is centered on gaze.

*I am nothing but tenderhearted and smothered in naïveté and hopes and sensitivity to drown.